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Monday 13 June 2011

The changes of us

You're there, right next to me, and your mine. What miracle did I perform to deserve this. After all this time, all my waiting, all my longing and at last we'd become us. No longer did I have to love being with you, but suffer through it. That all seems silly now, when i'm lying here in your arms, but i remember it so clearly its as though that those dark, miserable times only ended this morning. Every night, when i sleep, the memories are there, tormenting me.

 I would be near you all the time, but i could not touch you or even get within a foot of you for fear you might find it strange. I could make you laugh, but when you were down there was never anything i could do to make you smile, and your stubbornness didn't help the matter, and it was killing me. Like a slow torture eating away at my insides day after day, but i couldn't show it, I could never let you see the pain you were putting me through because i knew it would hurt you and the last thing that I've ever wanted was to hurt you. I swear I've never wanted anything more in my life then to be with you. Honestly from deep within my heart I have know idea how I of all people managed to see you day after day and not kiss you or tell you, show you how i much I did, and still, do care for you.

Thank goodness I don't have to restrain myself any longer, because we're together now. I'm not sure about "meant to be" or any of that which we hear and read about but I do know how I feel about you. I never want to leave you, or hurt you and you are the only thing that matters to me because without you I am nothing and I mean nothing. Hundreds may have said this to you before I did, and meant it as I do, but I promise you with me it's different. With the way I feel about you there's no going back because I'm in forever. And I love you.

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