The wounds

I'm only human. We can all break or shatter.The events in our past make our present and our future through the decisions which we make. Mine, has made me more breakable than most. Someone that matters to me can hurt me with there actions in a minuet, two words or even just the tone of there voice. That's all it takes for me to fall down, a broken vase.

But there's something you should know. I am fragile yes so I can be easily broken, but because of that when I face the same thing again I am easier to rebuild. It takes a mere week, maybe only a few days to mend where the first time it may have taken months for me to grow back in to what I was before hand. Though I'm like a child, I can't do it alone, I'm not strong enough. I need someone to help me find and place the peaces of my puzzle, or else i will get worse. The wound which only needed a few hugs, a talk and some loving attention will become infected by the suffering of feeling being unwanted.

You were never meant to know that you hurt me the way you do. You should have never seen the cuts, the bruises and the scars which I get from you, because it worries and scares you that you can do this to me and so easily. Though you shouldn't. These wounds are so easily heeled that you don't need knowledge of them for them to become just marks from the past. Just one hour with you can makes the cuts become light scratches on the skin and the bruises disappear altogether. But you know me to well. You are protective of me as we both know, so every 20 minuets or so that I am with you I get checked for signs of damage. Anything that wasn't there before, a change in mood or a different look in my eyes gets noticed, noted and questioned. So you realise when something has hurt me.

I don't mind that I get hurt being with you. With the amount of time we spend together it was inevitable and I wouldn't change that for the world. Though I know you try your best, you can't always sensor what you do or say and I get hurt. When you hurt me it goes straight to the heart and will stay there until it stops hurting because you've heeled it, weather or not you know you are. It then moves from my heart to my brain where I continue to over analysis it but now it is now joined with the the thoughts of how you made it better until the strength of this heeling that you gave me overcomes any moments which you let your guard down and it is gone.

In reading this you may worry, well please don't. You are the silver lining on a cloud. I know you never mean to hurt me, and i wouldn't ever want to prevent you from following your heart because of me. Seeing you happy and with someone else is much better than seeing you lifeless from protecting me. Your happiness means more to me than anything else ever does, so crack a smile and stop worrying. The little moments of misguided thought that hurts me I can deal with, I've had the practice, but I can't deal with you being forced into a bank volt worrying about touching the beams, I don't want to do that to you. So just relax and be you. I'll be ok, I promise.

As hard as you try you can never protect me from everything, though I love that you try. You were worried that this was because you try to protect me so much that you just don't see someone coming to hurt me. No, that's not it. Your just not a super hero, though it's fair to say you're mine with all that you do for me. You can't control other people so they are going to keep firing bullets at my heart and some will get through that shield which you put up around me. But I don't worry about those that do because I know that you will always be there to heal it afterwards. In fact at one point when I got hurt I saw the good side, that yes I was in a lot of pain and you were worried but at least I got to be close to you while you made the world better again.

I'm scared, one day you won't be here anymore and my best medicine will be gone. You say there will be someone in your place but you are truly irreplaceable. Someone may come along one day and protect me and heal me also, but nobody will ever do it in the same way as you do because you're special. I don't like the idea of someone else heeling me, that means you won't be here anymore and I don't want that. Where will you be? Will I even be remembered? The one that's spent so long tending me when I'm in pain, and I hope that I do the same to you. We've been through more than just a lot together in such a short space of time, that most people never have to face in a life time. We stood in the face of everything hand in hand, side by side and ready for the war and every time we got out alive. I can't leave you. I can't forget you. I can't release you. And I won't. You're mine forever.