"my sky had been grey for 6 months..." a sentence that I wrote about myself 2 years ago. Little did I know that the hidden meaning of this sentence was going to shape my future. The start of the downwards spiral.
What happened? guys, what else. It may have been guilt, loss of what i had unknowingly wanted or lack of gain, but I didn't recover. I made one decision and I become a black whole, dragging misery in. Nothing else existed. It was as though the devil was following me, controlling everything.
I built up walls as a shield around me, but on the rare occasions where they were torn down i disintegrated even more. A mess. The happy childhood light that had used to shine from my eyes had become a flicker and then died leaving only darkness. I was shadow, present in physical form but mentally i was in a world of my own configuration so as to escape from all the tortures which I saw around me. There was very little in my life, the happy endings i saw in films were all i lived for. My life was built around nothing more than that. It was then I realised that that's all I'd ever been, hopeless, scared and alone.
Suddenly life was injected into me. One person dragged me out of that whole of deep despair and saved me from the pain I'd inflicted on myself. Something mattered again. In the words of Peyton Sawyer "their are currently 7,012,496,761 people in the world, and sometimes all you need is one". So to that one person, thank you
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