Old dreams

It was you and I, nobody else just us. To me nothing else mattered anyways. We'd slide right into it, gentle and easy. You said it yourself once - we'd make a good couple.

At first just holding hands and hugging would be the only real difference, we were so close already. Then gradually we'd become less like we were and more like people that weren't just close but needed each other. As it was already one of us would always need the other - usually I you - but that would become a two way thing. People always said we were one person, but not yet, not quite. That's what I was hoping for.

After that we'd go to uni together. I didn't and still don't want to lose you when it comes to that - it scares me the most. I thought that we could live together there and have what are meant to be the best experiences of our lives together. "We've faced everything together and got out alive", words you once wrote to me so I didn't think that would be a challenge, not for us. We'd just be facing the real world together instead of the traumatic dramas of our lives, that most don't have to face in a life time.

After this we'd get a flat together. I know you want to live in the city so I thought somewhere like home that is out of the city centre but still has all the benefits of it. Chickens of course, just for the random factor and to keep me amused. Eventually, if we got the money, we'd get an architect to build a house just for us. But that was a long shot.

Of course they'd be a wedding. I knew how I'd make the proposal and what you'd wear at the wedding and the whole service. I thought you'd want it in a church so I thought I'd go to church for a few weeks prior to the grand event. Then, on the grand day, you'd look beautiful, more beautiful then I'd ever seen you - though when I was dreaming this I wasn't sure of how this would be possible. Your white dress would make you look even more like an angel, but having had one look at it I'd only be able to focus on your eyes. Those deep eyes that would keep me calm and put a smile on my face like nothing else could. Then a plain off to the honeymoon - Australia because of how you loved it.

Kids; two; a boy and a girl, one each was my way of thinking.

As you can see I had our whole lives planned together in my head, plus so much more. Once you said to me, "we'll have to try it some time". I claimed that this was a temporary idea of yours because you wouldn't say such things usually but you but you insisted that it wasn't. Sure enough that idea crumbled and the day it did my dream collapsed. The small part of me that had been stuck in reality all those months knew that you'd find someone and why it wouldn't be me, why it couldn't be me. But I'm glad it wasn't. For if it hadn't, then on the 6th of February you wouldn't have become as happy as I've ever seen you. Congratulations to the both of you.